CREATING A CALMING CORNER
A Research-Backed Approach to Emotion Regulation
Parenting today can feel overwhelming, especially with everything we now understand about emotions and their long-term psychological impacts on children. Research shows that the first step in helping children regulate their emotions is teaching them to identify what they are feeling. But how do we balance acknowledging emotions while also providing tools for regulation—without making emotions seem like something that needs to be “fixed” or suppressed?
The goal isn’t to eliminate emotions but to equip our children with the skills to manage their reactions in a healthy way.
How to Teach Emotional Regulation Without Overcomplicating It
Child psychologists emphasize the importance of frequent, casual conversations about emotions, but they caution that these discussions should be:
• Short and to the point (kids tune out lengthy lectures).
• Happening outside of emotional meltdowns (so children can absorb the information).
• Relevant to the child’s own experiences (to make learning personal and meaningful).
All great in theory, right? But as a working mom with a chronic illness and ADD, I don’t always have the energy, time, or memory to plan these conversations perfectly. That’s where a Calming Corner has been a game-changer—it’s a structured yet low-maintenance way to help my child build emotional regulation skills without requiring constant effort from me.
What Makes a Good Calming Corner?
There are a lot of Calming Corner ideas out there, but I wanted one that checked as many boxes as possible: rooted in psychology, backed by research, and aligned with Montessori principles.
After studying various approaches, I built my Calming Corner kits based on three core elements:
1. Color Associations for Emotions
Research in color psychology suggests that our brains naturally associate certain colors with specific emotions. This is especially useful for young children, who often struggle to express emotions verbally but can match feelings with colors more easily.
For example:
• Blue → Sadness
• Red → Anger
• Yellow → Happiness
• Green → Calm
By incorporating color-coded emotion charts, visuals, and sensory tools, children can begin recognizing and labeling their emotions intuitively.
2. Regulation Activities and Techniques
I compiled a list of proven strategies that support emotional regulation, from physical activities that help with sensory input (like deep breathing or stretching) to self-reflection tools (like emotion tracking and storytelling).
Every technique I included serves one or more of these purposes:
✔️ Providing a physical or neurological response to help regulate emotions.
✔️ Offering age-appropriate ways to process emotions rather than suppressing them.
✔️ Encouraging self-soothing skills over time, leading to long-term emotional resilience.
3. Developmentally Appropriate Strategies
One issue I noticed in existing resources was a one-size-fits-all approach. Many included tools for a broad age range, but emotional recognition and regulation develop in stages.
After researching how children’s emotional awareness evolves, I created three separate Calming Corner Kits for different developmental levels:
Preschool (Ages 2–5): Emotion Introduction & Distraction Techniques
At this stage, children rely heavily on parents for emotional regulation. They may recognize emotions but lack the ability to manage them independently. Techniques focus on:
• Basic emotion identification (using pictures, colors, and simple words).
• Distraction and sensory tools (like fidget items, music, or movement activities).
• Situation modification (changing environments to prevent frustration before it escalates).
Lower Elementary (Ages 6–8): Trigger Awareness & Social-Emotional Skills
At this age, children start recognizing triggers—they can connect emotions to specific events or experiences. Their social world also expands, meaning peer relationships begin influencing emotional regulation. This kit includes:
• Activities to reflect on emotional triggers and their impact.
• Breathing and grounding techniques to manage overwhelming emotions.
• Social-emotional regulation tools to navigate friendships and conflicts.
Upper Elementary (Ages 9–11): Complex Emotion Processing & Independence
By this stage, children develop a more nuanced understanding of emotions. They can experience conflicting emotions at once (e.g., feeling excited but nervous) and begin creating their own self-regulation strategies. This kit focuses on:
• Journaling and self-reflection prompts to encourage independent emotional processing.
• Multi-step problem-solving strategies for handling emotional challenges.
• Personalized emotion regulation plans to identify what works best for them.
Why a Calming Corner Works for Parents, Too
The best part? A Calming Corner reduces the pressure on you as a parent. Instead of trying to have perfectly timed conversations about emotions, your child has a dedicated space where they can go when they need to process their feelings.
And if you’re like me—juggling work, health, and a million responsibilities—having a structured system like this makes emotional development feel manageable rather than overwhelming.
Final Thoughts: Every Child (and Parent) Is Different
No matter where your child is in their emotional development, a Calming Corner can be a powerful tool to support their growth in a way that fits their needs and your lifestyle.
And remember:
✔️ You don’t have to get it right every time. Some days, emotions will run high, and that’s okay.
✔️ Your presence matters more than perfection. Just having a space where your child feels safe expressing emotions is a huge step in their emotional development.
If you’re ready to set up your own Calming Corner, check out my digital download kits designed for each age group! They include everything you need to create an effective, research-backed space for emotional regulation at home.
Let’s make emotional learning easier—for our kids and for us.